We've decided that we want to form some "non-traditional alliances" here at DL, and as such, we're seeking a responsible off-roader who hates cows to help us deliver our message. You know, some "good guy" ATVer who just loves the land and is sick and tired of livestock wrecking it, breaking through fences, hammering private lands, and generally disturbing his "custom and culture" of weekend warriorship.
Someone who has ridden his motorbike with his family for five generations and whose grandson is just learning to ride a three-wheeler. (Photogenic grandson a plus.) Somebody for whom the whir of the engine is his way of life, not just a hobby, whether or not he has to work five days in town to support it.
We need this person to show up in the full ORV regalia- helmet, body suit, gloves- to every forest service planning meeting, claiming that "Every Day is Earth Day." He must be willing to chum up with local enviro groups who will then not speak out about the multitude of crappy off-roaders for fear of insulting their new friend. Instead, they'll take up arms against the cows, sheep, and horses that are devastating public lands across the west.
We'd prefer someone with a lot of money, if possible, who can also line our coffers in exchange for our non-opposition to his "lifestyle." This is a perfect way to protect millions of acres from livestock abuse- use the recreational angle, heavy industry support, and "partnership" model of conservation. If he (or she, we're EOE) is charming enough to make the public forget all the science explaining the degradation his lifestyle induces, all the better.
If enviros could start teaming up with off-roaders, we'd have a powerful hold on the western landscape. Just think of it!
Please send CV, full-sized photo, list of favorite trails, and sample of grant-writing abilities.