Tell that to the ocelot & jaguar

We were very amused to read a recent list of ways around the proposed border wall, published by the McAllen, Texas Chamber of Commerce:

Climb over it.
Tunnel under it.
Walk around it.
Fly into Canada and then walk across.
Boat across the Gulf of Mexico to another state where there are no walls. Yet.
Call East Germany survivors and ask how they did it
Walk around with a cell phone saying, “Can you hear me now?”
By an Acme kit, paint a hole on the wall and walk through
Walk backwards and say you’re leaving
Pretend you’re a Canadian- eh?
Say you’re here to deliver the tequila
Master the pogo stick
Plant magic beans next to the wall and wait
Employ the Jedi mind trick. “These are not the illegals you are looking for.”
Put on a hard hat, grab a clip board and say you’re inspecting the wall
Grab onto a huge handful of helium balloons and float over the wall
Create a human pyramid
Use a trampoline
Glue suction cups to your feet
Hide in a piñata
Dress in black and hide in the wall’s shadow
Start a rousing game of Red Rover Red Rover
Run down the road yelling, “The Muslims are coming!”
Pole vault over
Build a Trojan Javelina and mail it to Washington DC
Employ the assistance of a giant gopher
Hitch a ride on a UFO
Use a Harry Potter Invisibility Cloak
Mail yourself
Get a boost from Yao Ming
Use a grappling hook
Stand on a pile of cases of beer
Pretend to look for a lost cat
Pretend to be Santa
Learn the Indian rope charm
Make like Evel Knieval
Anger a field goal kicker and have him kick you over

Some are funny, some are tried and true, and others are but a sad commentary on the ineffective and impractical effort the Bush Administration seems hell-bent on undertaking. The Bushies and Duncan Hunter.

- Lozen