Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Wanted: Responsible ORV user

We've decided that we want to form some "non-traditional alliances" here at DL, and as such, we're seeking a responsible off-roader who hates cows to help us deliver our message. You know, some "good guy" ATVer who just loves the land and is sick and tired of livestock wrecking it, breaking through fences, hammering private lands, and generally disturbing his "custom and culture" of weekend warriorship.

Someone who has ridden his motorbike with his family for five generations and whose grandson is just learning to ride a three-wheeler. (Photogenic grandson a plus.) Somebody for whom the whir of the engine is his way of life, not just a hobby, whether or not he has to work five days in town to support it.

We need this person to show up in the full ORV regalia- helmet, body suit, gloves- to every forest service planning meeting, claiming that "Every Day is Earth Day." He must be willing to chum up with local enviro groups who will then not speak out about the multitude of crappy off-roaders for fear of insulting their new friend. Instead, they'll take up arms against the cows, sheep, and horses that are devastating public lands across the west.

We'd prefer someone with a lot of money, if possible, who can also line our coffers in exchange for our non-opposition to his "lifestyle." This is a perfect way to protect millions of acres from livestock abuse- use the recreational angle, heavy industry support, and "partnership" model of conservation. If he (or she, we're EOE) is charming enough to make the public forget all the science explaining the degradation his lifestyle induces, all the better.

If enviros could start teaming up with off-roaders, we'd have a powerful hold on the western landscape. Just think of it!

Please send CV, full-sized photo, list of favorite trails, and sample of grant-writing abilities.

6 comments:

begreen said...

who's the sell-out ? i mean, don't get me wrong, i'd be stoked to see more folk get behind bringing an end to welfare ranching --- but, who's the sell-out ?

demarcated landscapes said...

Uh... begreen... you've stumped us.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget that Daniel Defoe got sent to prison by his own side when they didn't understand his scarcasm.

begreen said...

woah ~

Lozen said...

Dear Begreen,

Perhaps you haven't noticed the trend of enviro groups using ranchers to oppose off-road vehicles, promote legislation, thwart the dreaded condos, etc. etc. We have, and we're pissed. It doesn't make sense that we always have to trade in something, and that the something is 260 million acres of federal lands used by the livestock industry.

Here, we were just hoping to turn that idea on its head a bit.

Sorry for any confusion that our sarcasm might have caused.

Calling us (us!) sell-outs really hurt. You know we won't sell out until the price is right. :)

begreen said...

ya'll ain't sellng out.

i hope you succeed in turning the idea on its head -- it looks like you've succeeded at turning me on mine...

remember to renew your membership with TNC and check out the recent anecdote on grazing for fluvial grayling restoration - it's a good one.