Wednesday, November 07, 2012

A Honey-Do List for the Next Four Years

In 2008, when Barack Obama became the President elect of the United States, we were speechless. This time around, we're like, "Meh." This morning, we compared him to a cheating lover who you reunite with. You're happy to have him back, but you kinda know you deserve a lot better.

Don't get us wrong. Mitt Romney would have been an unmitigated disaster, selling out our natural heritage faster than you can say "Deseret." But President Obama has been selling it out, too. (e.g.). And his debate bullshit about who was a bigger friend to oil and gas was downright appalling.

So, while the enviros outline their vague wishlists for Term 2, we'll throw out our environmental To-Do list too (just in case one of you USDA readers happens to have your top boss' ear):
  1. Fire the fuck out of Cowboy Ken. No more hats.
  2. Put solar and wind in disturbed/developed areas. Period.
  3. Give the National Landscape Conservation Lands to the National Park Service. 
  4. Make all the BLM lands NLCS lands. See Number 3.  
  5. Reinstate the 1982 Forest Planning Rule.
  6. Strengthen the Endangered Species Act and relist wolves. And let them eat schoolkids if they want to. (They don't.) Seriously. We've got enough schoolkids.
  7. Impose a meat tax. Forget soda; those folks are hurting themselves. Meat is hurting the planet, our bodies, and causing the suffering of sentient beings. Also: Gross. 
  8. Skip all the MPG requirements. Give tax credits to bicyclists. We need real change in transportation, not token reductions in emissions.
and, 9. Don't wait.

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